sorry, im an ass. haven’t posted shit. will get around to it eventually.. lol
in the meantime, have a Salad Wrap c/o the Sniper Twins
yeah yeah…
March 2nd, 2010Games and Movies
February 19th, 2010So much to do…
Another top 5 post is coming this weekend 
I finished Batman.. have 2 classes above lvl 20 and 2 classes above 15 in Global Agenda.. finished RE4, Doom, Wolf3D, Attack!, Defend!, and Inotia2 on my iPhone.. and I’ve been working… supid work, taking time away from things that really matter.
I’ve also been watching a ton of movies (as I usually do when I play casual games) and one of my buddies sent me a great list of plot summaries -> http://www.postmodernbarney.com/2009/04/uncomfortable-plot-summaries/ The comments have some gems too.
- 25TH HOUR: White New Yorkers commit crimes against both law and ethics; feel bad for being caught, rather than for doing it at all.
- 300: Gays kill blacks.
- 8 MILE: White man successfully coopts black culture to impress other whites.
- A CIVIL ACTION: Underqualified lawyer doesn’t listen to clients, royally botches case.
- A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES: Social deviants make life difficult for genius.
- A CRY IN THE DARK: Dogs eat baby, confusion follows.
- ALIEN: Ship fails to deliver cargo, crew don’t get bonus.
- ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
- AMADEUS: Man with health problems receives help from rival.
- AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON: Tourist causes riot.
- ATLAS SHRUGGED: Selfish industrialist destroys economy.
- AUNTIE MAME: Spinster exposes child to sexual fetishists, socialists; thwarts marriage to good Republican girl.
- BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
- BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
- BENJI: Family abandons beloved pet, forcing it to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
- BEOWULF: Colonists hire assassin to drive natives from land.
- BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA: Redneck trucker kills Chinese immigrants.
- BILLY ELLIOT: Union worker turns back on strikers for personal gain.
- BLADE: Obsessed loner stalks minority group.
- BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.
- BLAKE’S 7: Terrorists fight government, die.
- BOOGIE NIGHTS: Deformed boy goaded into life of crime.
- BOTTLE ROCKET: Mentally unstable man fosters friend’s descent into mental instability, finds love.
- BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S: Pretty redneck girl fools socialites, flirts with gay gigolo.
- BREWSTER’S MILLIONS: Black man abuses line of credit.
- BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: Teenage serial killer destroys town in fit of semi-religious fervor.
- CHANGE OF HABIT: Rock star regrets not looking closer at contract with movie studio.
- CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: Deranged pedophile big-business industrialist tortures and mutilates young children.
- CHASING AMY: Homosexuality proved to be passing fancy and sign of sexual deviance.
- CHEERS: Alcoholic cuts lime in bar as penance for his womanizing ways.
- CHINATOWN: Father desires closer relationship with his children.
- CHRISTMAS VACATION: Incestuous relatives teach family the meaning of Christmas.
- CLERKS: Aimless loser remains in dead-end job, abusive “friendship.”
- CLOAK AND DAGGER: Spoiled teens discover drugs make them special.
- CONAN THE BARBARIAN: Petty thief murders religious leader.
- CORALINE: Misfit discovers she is special person in a secret world just beside our own.
- CRANK: Drug addict spends last day in orgy of rape and violence.
- CUJO: Family neglects to give family pet rabies shots, pays price.
- DAREDEVIL: Blind man pisses off crime boss, gets all his girl-friends killed.
- DARK KNIGHT RETURNS: Aging sadist corrupts, endangers minor, facilitates murder, destroys superhero comic books for 30 years.
- DEADWOOD: Pimp and rapist charms frontier town into eventual fire-based disaster.
- DEBBIE DOES DALLAS: Cheerleaders develop valuable entrepreneurial skills.
- DEEP THROAT: Medical anomaly earns woman new friends.
- DELIVERANCE: Tourists experience local hospitality.
- DEMOLITION MAN: In a future where crime is completely eradicated, a black man steals and murders.
- DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
- DIRTY HARRY: Police incompetence allows murderer to go free.
- DOCTOR FAUSTUS: Scholar leans nuances of contract law.
- DOCTOR WHO: Elderly man serially abducts young women.
- DONNIE DARKO: Hallucinating teen crushed by airplane engine.
- DRACULA: Immigrant clashes with locals.
- E.T.: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
- EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE: Part-time mechanic involves girlfriend in illegal fight club, risks life of best friend and endangered primate.
- FALLING DOWN: Life is difficult for white men.
- FANTASTIC FOUR: Scientist exposes friends, family to dangerous radiation to assuage ego, becomes embroiled in rivalry with former room-mate.
- FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF: Amoral narcissist makes world dance for his amusement.
- FIELD OF DREAMS: Schizophrenic builds ball park, almost kills girl.
- FIGHT CLUB: Deranged sociopath guides yuppies to their deaths.
- FIREFLY: In an analogue of the post-Civil War west, a white man on the losing side bosses around a black woman.
- FRANKENSTEIN: Scientific advancement proves unpopular with general public.
- FREAKS: Acrobat learns value of community.
- SERENITY: Men fight for possession of scantily clad mentally ill teenage girl.
- GHOSTBUSTERS: Unemployed college professors destroy hotel with nuclear weapons.
- GLADIATOR: Convict murders head of state.
- GLENGARRY, GLENN ROSS: Sales job proves difficult for some.
- GONE WITH THE WIND: Rich, white slave owner enjoys getting raped, miscarries.
- GOOD WILL HUNTING: Underemployed genius squanders prestigious job opportunity to chase trim.
- GREEN ARROW: Rich white man with Robin Hood fetish goes vigilante.
- GREEN LANTERN: Policeman beats up his girlfriend.
- GREMLINS: Distant father ruins son’s life, puts entire town at risk.
- GROUNDHOG DAY: Misanthropic creep exploits space/time anomaly to stalk coworker.
- HACKERS: Cybercriminals on revenge kick destroy innumerable jobs.
- HAIR: Hippie dodges draft, dies ironically.
- HALLOWEEN: Babysitter’s relationship with murderer places children in danger.
- HARRY POTTER: Celebrity Jock thinks rules don’t apply to him, is right.
- HE GOT GAME: Escaped convict attempts to embezzle only son.
- HIGHLANDER: Elderly immigrant destroys property.
- IRON MAN: Alcoholic rich white man with technology fetish goes vigilante.
- WAR MACHINE: Alcoholic rich white man gives weapons to black man.
- IT: Children use horrific murders as excuse to run train on young girl.
- JFK: Family man wastes life for nothing in crusade against homosexuals.
- JUDGE DREDD: Fascist thug in bleak dystopia is cheered.
- JUNO: Teen fails to get abortion, ruins lives.
- JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.
- KARATE KID: Boy gains acceptance through violence.
- KILL BILL: Irresponsible mother wants custody of her child.
- KINDERGARTEN COP: Incompetent left in charge of children, who are eventually fired at by convicted felon.
- KING KONG: Endangered animal stolen, shot.
- KING OF KONG: Dick battles loser over trivia.
- LA CONFIDENTIAL: Rapist joins thug in foiling police corruption scheme.
- LABYRINTH: Girl is negligent baby-sitter.
- LARS AND THE REAL GIRL: Retarded man doesn’t know what sex toy is for.
- LASSIE COME HOME: Family abandons beloved pet, forcing it to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
- LOLITA: Man encourages step-daughter to take chances.
- LONE WOLF MCQUADE: Alcoholic assaults local businessman, ruins marriage.
- LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
- LOVE ACTUALLY: Prime Minister risks war with United States over a sexy secretary.
- MARLEY AND ME: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
- METROPOLIS: Efficient society undone by unions.
- MICHAEL CLAYTON: Attorney works against client’s interests.
- MILK: Uppity queer dies.
- MIRRORMASK: Misfit discovers she is special person in secret world just beside our own.
- MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.
- MULHOLLAND DRIVE: Lesbian relationship is harmful.
- MY GIRL: Boy killed by female friend’s irresponsibility.
- NEVERWHERE: Misfit discovers he is special person in secret world just beside our own.
- O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU: Southern musicians encounter massive flooding and government incompetence.
- OBSERVE AND REPORT: Emotionally disturbed man gets woman drunk, rapes her.
- OCEAN’S ELEVEN: Gang of career criminals commit act of terror to facilitate robbery and romance.
- OF MICE AND MEN: Migrant farmer murders mentally handicapped friend.
- ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST: Disruptive mental patients treated.
- PILLOW TALK: Gay man tricks woman into sex.
- POLTERGEIST: Pot-head parents lose child, ruin property values.
- PREDATOR: American military-industrial complex ruins first contact with alien life.
- PRETTY BABY: Young woman’s modeling career encouraged.
- PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: Woman with gold-digging mother nags wealthy man into marriage.
- PYGMALION: Urchin cured by social betters.
- RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: American yahoo murders soldiers and desecrates religious artifacts for money.
- RAISING ARIZONA: Convicted felon seduces police officer in kidnapping plot.
- RAMBO III: The United States provides arms, equipment and training to the terrorists behind 9/11.
- RATATOUILLE: Vermin infest restaurant until it is forced to close doors.
- RAVENOUS: Coward is seduced by cannibal, destroys army outpost.
- RED DAWN: Despite shock-and-awe tactics, a superior occupying force is no match for a tenacious sect of terrorist insurgents.
- RISKY BUSINESS: Privileged rich kid gets everything he wants with no consequences.
- ROAD HOUSE: Bouncer becomes vigilante, murders local businessman with karate.
- ROBIN HOOD: Disgruntled veteran protests taxes.
- ROBOCOP: Female officer’s incompetence leads partner to be murdered and enslaved by corporation.
- ROCKY: White man beats black man.
- ROSEMARY’S BABY: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
- RUDY: Diminutive athlete patronized.
- RUSHMORE: Teen molests teacher, is expelled. Finds love.
- SCARFACE: Immigrant finds running his own business stressful, dangerous.
- SCHINDLER’S LIST: Wealthy industrialist expands not-for-profit ventures.
- SCOTT PILGRIM: Emotionally immature musician sleeps with high-school girl.
- SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.
- SHORT CIRCUIT: Rogue scientist steals top-secret government weapon.
- SIGNS: Jesus trumps science.
- SILENCE OF THE LAMBS: Incompetent manipulated by several murderers, stumbles upon suspect completely by accident. Creates situation that allows serial killer to escape.
- SLEEPY HOLLOW: Veteran harassed.
- SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT: Redneck bootlegger makes mockery of law, sanctity of marriage.
- SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS: Layabout stepdaughter shacks up with seven miners.
- SOPHIE’S CHOICE: Mom loves one of her kids way more than the other one.
- SOUTHLAND TALES: Traumitized vet destroys universe.
- SPIDER-MAN: Nerd gets bitten by spider, complains about how this ruins his life for years to come.
- STARDUST: Misfit discovers he is special person in secret world just beside our own.
- STAR TREK: Over-sexed officer routinely places crew in danger.
- STAR TREK THE MOTION PICTURE: Meglomaniac can’t let go of past glory, drives successor to suicide.
- STAR TREK III: Military officers steal vessel and destroy it to eliminate a handful of enemies while engaged on an extremely vague rescue mission.
- STAR TREK IV: Interplanetary fugitives poach wildlife from a past age to cover up an act of genocide.
- STAR TREK VI: Racist military commander past his prime nearly ruins galactic peace.
- STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE: Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.
- STAR WARS: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide.
- STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI: Handicapped mass murderer kills septugenarian, is lauded.
- STRAW DOGS: Immigrant clashes with locals.
- SUPERBAD: Boys plan date-rape, sleep together.
- SUPERMAN RETURNS: Illegal immigrant is deadbeat dad.
- SWEENEY TODD: Businesses flourish when freed from stringent regulation.
- TAXI DRIVER: Modern dating proves challenging for working class man.
- TERMINATOR: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
- TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: Tourists have difficulty with regional cuisine.
- THE CAT FROM OUTER SPACE: College professors help illegal alien evade authorities.
- THE CONVERSATION: Paranoid schizophrenic follows worst possible career path.
- THE CRYING GAME: Hairdresser bonds with client.
- THE EDGE: Men bond in Alaskan wilderness.
- THE EXORCIST: Jesus trumps science.
- THE FIRM: White lawyer learns hard work is irrelevant.
- THE GOLDEN COMPASS: Critique of Catholicism upstaged by polar bear fight.
- THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY: Nameless drifter kills American soldier over stolen money, hangs friend.
- THE GOONIES: Physically abused, retarded man finds love with overweight preteen.
- THE INCREDIBLE JOURNEY: Family abandons beloved pets, forcing them to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
- THE MATRIX: Hacker is given perfect justification for mass slaughter.
- THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS: Dangerous insurgent invades neighboring country.
- THE OFFICE: Incompetent boss routinely endangers employees, passes fire-worthy blame, sexually harasses subordinates; is seen as “hero” compared to people who just actually work.
- THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST: Mel Gibson fulfills fantasy of showing a Jew beaten to a bloody pulp and killed on-screen.
- THE PROFESSIONAL: Hired murderer sleeps with little girl.
- THE STEPFORD WIVES: Woman has difficulty adjusting to suburban life.
- THE TAKING OF PELHAM 1 2 3: Civil servant insults and shoots foreigners.
- THE THING: Unexpected visitor imposes on workers, their dogs.
- THE UNTOUCHABLES: Murderer indicted on technicality.
- THE WICKER MAN: Isolated religious community revitalized by newcomer.
- THE X-MEN: Minority group seeks overthrow of social order.
- THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Kidnapper commits murder several times.
- TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum.
- TOP GUN: Pilot routinely endangers Air Traffic Controllers.
- TORCHWOOD: Bisexual is inefficient manager.
- TRAINSPOTTING: Statutory rapist and junkie sifts through human waste, gets enormous sum of money.
- TRANSPORTER: Repressed homosexual kills employers.
- TWILIGHT: Girl gives up college for stalker.
- BREAKING DAWN: Native American guy is romantically obsessed with ex-girlfriend’s baby.
- TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME: Father becomes more involved in teenage daughter’s life.
- V FOR VENDETTA: Dystopian government overthrown by faceless conformity.
- VERTIGO: Stalker drives woman to suicide.
- W.: Unspeakable disaster afflicts America. Then terrorists attack.
- WALL-E: Obsolete robot disrupts big business, disrupts lives of millions of innocent civilians.
- WAR OF THE WORLDS: Immigrants face difficulty acclimating.
- WATCHMEN: Homosexual destroys New York, blames God.
- WEEKEND AT BERNIES: Two employees take advantage of their boss’ hospitality.
- WONDER WOMAN: Princess from isolationist culture lectures Americans on equality.
- WORLD TRADE CENTER: Rag-tag group of underdogs succeed at a massive undertaking despite overwhelming odds, credit success with faith in God.
Anyway, back to Global Agenda… all you fans of tribes2, tf2, ut2004 assault, and wow pvp will love it… it’s like tron2.0 done right with mmo lobbies and great action. Come join!
Happy New Year
January 10th, 2010Sorry I haven’t posted in a while… I’ve been waaay too busy playing games. I’m on my 3rd play-through of Dragon Age, lvl 25 in Torchlight, 15% of the way into Batman: Arkham Asylum, about 2 hours into S.T.A.L.K.E.R., and I’m almost done with Egypt in Serious Sam HD: The First Encounter… Plus I’ve been playing lots of TF2 and Shattered Horizon. I also preordered Global Agenda and have been playing the Beta of that when the servers are up.. I am also playing some other betas for soon-to-be-released MMOs…
I also have lots of games which I bought during the holiday sales which I haven’t even tried yet.
Pretty much, I’m just too busy to give a shit about updating a site like this… I do have some posts already outlined that are personal and original but I just haven’t gotten around to typing them out yet.
Anyway… I just wanted to wish the world a safe, healthy, and happy new year.
-AdDiCt-
P.S. I have started to use new names in certain games as there are way too many “addict” players out there. So recently, for new games that are not tied into Steam or by id or Epic, I use “Zorz” (or “zorztastic” if the names must be over 5 characters long).
The Gridiron Trail (Oregon Trail Meets The NFL)
September 14th, 2009lol, wow
Top 5 Greatest Geek Songs/Videos
September 14th, 2009Lots of people try to make parodies of songs with geek-ish themes and/or origional geek content, but most are too terrible to even finish listening to a single song. There are also tons of great nerd-core style songs out there, but these 5 are on a level all of their own. It was really hard for me to not include songs by artists like Danger Mouse and MF Doom in a list like this but here is what I got.
#5. Deckard Cain – Greetings
I don’t expect anyone besides fellow Diablo fans to understand this song or it’s reason for being on this list, so if you’re not a fan of Diablo then proceed to #4.
Deckard Cain, from the Diablo video game series, is one of those helpful NPC’s that you always go to when you return to town. Obviously this song is not nearly as good as the rest on this list, but it deserves to be included in any Diablo Universe geek’s collection.
#4. Star Wars Gangsta Rap
This classic rap was one of the first viral internet videos in the 21st Century. It’s also one of the best fan made Star Wars properties ever (outside of Ryan vs Dorkman). Details of this video and rap can be found here.
#3. “Weird Al” Yankovic – White & Nerdy
Official Video -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xEzGIuY7kw (Embedding is disabled)
Not only is the beat and melody totally phat, but the lyrics and rhymes are badass for a “nerd” song. Normally I wouldn’t support nerd songs as I consider myself a geek, but this song is way too awesome not to have on this list.
#2. Sniper Twins feat. Rob Collier – “Computer Friends” [Stack the Memory]
This is one of the coolest and most original geek songs I’ve ever heard. Granted for most of it they are talking about macs… but that aside, this song is still totally awesome. Props to the Sniper Twins for awesome new music that I can relate to.
#1. “Weird Al” Yankovic – It’s All About The Pentiums
Official Video (better audio but worse video)-> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky-JTAPhmUo (Embedding Disabled)
There was never any song made with lyrics as great as Weird Al’s parody of Puff Daddy’s “It’s All About The Benjamins (remix)”. And even for a 10 year old song, it’s still relevant to today’s technology. If you don’t like this song, then you are not a geek.
“Play me online, well you know that I’ll beat you. If I ever meet you, I’ll control-alt-delete you.”
The SOF2 Knife Throw is Back
September 3rd, 2009Amazing, and the sof2 style knife throw is excellent
Q&A With Diablo III Devs
August 22nd, 2009The Escapist has a great Q&A from Blizzcon about Diablo III.
Orig source: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/94096-BlizzCon-09-Blizzard-Talks-Diablo-III-In-Q-A-Session
Where’s the Paladin? Is there going to be a cow level? Key members of Blizzard’s Diablo III team took fan questions in a Q&A session today, and, believe it or not, there were productive results.
It’s just a feeling, but the impression I’m getting from the way Blizzard’s talking about Diablo III, this game isn’t coming out for a long time. Not next year for sure, maybe not even the year after that. How hard can it be to make a game where you just click things and get loot? I’m not going to try to say that it’s easy – that there’s a lot to consider was made clear enough during the Q&A session Blizzard held with fans this morning at BlizzCon.
Unlike the “QQ&A” sessions for certain other Blizzard games out there, there was actually quite a bit of interesting information that came out of reasonably sensible questions here. Some of the highlights follow:
What’s the deal with Diablo III’s PvP? Lead game designer Jay Wilson was conclusive when he said that Diablo IIIwon’t support an option to “go hostile” at any time in Diablo III, since it works against players working together, which is what Blizzard wants. That being said, Wilson said that Diablo III will “support PvP better than any of the other previous products did.”
How will Diablo III work with the new Battle.net? Blizzard’s mostly working on Battle.net as it relates to StarCraft II right now, so there will be some time until they can actually start thinking about how it relates to Diablo, Wilson said. Yeah, this game’s not coming out until 2013.
Will The Monk be able to do Ryu-style Hadokens? Don’t rule it out.
Will Necromancers show up? Blizzard here seemed to offhandedly imply that Necromancers won’t be a playable class, which I think most of us have figured by now anyway. That doesn’t mean there won’t be Necromancers in the game, though. They may very well show up in the game’s world, as part of the story.
Will Paladins show up? Similar answer to the Necromancer question. Blizzard says that they’re trying out the idea of making characters you played as in previous games into story characters in this game. So your D2 Paladin might show up in Diablo III. However, there might be more to it than that. Blizzard has “long term plans” for Pallies, Wilson added, saying that “stuff is going to happen.”
Will there be Hardcore Mode?: “We definitely want to do Hardcore again,” Wilson said, calling the permadeath mode the “only way to play, right?” The team doesn’t have any specific ideas about how to do it yet, though.
Are there plans to support UI add-ons?: Your user interface can be customized to your heart’s content in WoW, butDiablo isn’t the same game. Blizzard has no plans to support add-ons for Diablo.
“We feel very strongly what makes Diablo works is simplicity – simplicity of controls and UI design,” Wilson said. “UI mods are wonderful things but they vastly change the simplicity of controls and user interface, don’t want to do that withDiablo.”
Items, Items, Items: Randomly generated items will be the heart of the item system in Diablo III, but unique items with pre-ordained stats will also be prominent, maybe providing one-of-a-kind combinations of stats, properties and gear that could prove useful. There will also be items that are unique to each class (like the Wizard is the only one who can use orbs). These class items will be “cool, signature” items, like huge gnarly axes for Barbarians. They won’t be the only items you’ll want to carry though – they’ll work for different builds, depending.
More Items: Items will be transferable between characters, presumably more user-friendly than making a game, dropping some gear and then logging out and logging back in with a different character. As for how you get items the real way – by killing bosses, specifically – whenever you kill a boss in a party, each player will get his/her own drops, that only he/she can grab (old news but worth saying again). No getting ninja’d or frantically clicking hoping you get the drop.
It all sounds quite promising, but there’s a lot of “we’re planning on this” or “we’re thinking of that” and not much “we’re doing this.” Oh yeah, and nobody asked, but there is no cow level.
Sweet… but not for a couple years… hopefully theres a few more ladder resets in d2 before then.
Diablo III WILL Have Some Sort Of Light Radius And I Have Proof
August 20th, 2009There is a video on YouTube (which I found through Kotaku) of 3 people playing D3 at GamesCom this year. And if you look, you will see a light radius on all 3 characters on those bottom screens. Thank you Blizzard, we were very worried when you released those 30+ minute gameplay videos and there was no light radius on anyone.
YAY!!!
Random Thoughts That Are Totally True
August 20th, 2009I got this in an email from a friend who got it from a friend. There are lots of websites and blogs with this posted but no one knows the origional author. If you do, let me know so I can give them credit cause some of these are too great… and #15 needs to be a new manlaw.
1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?
4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
5. That’s enough, Nickelback.
6. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.
8. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft..
9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the **** was going on when I first saw it.
11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people… I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
12. The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way… We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that’s is when I realized, yup, that’s a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
13. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
14. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
15. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die..
16. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
17. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
18. Was learning cursive really necessary?
19. Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
20. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
21. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
22. My brother’s Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, “Cuz we beat you, and you hate us.” Classy, bro.
23. Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
24. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
25. I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a **** from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
26. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in….(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”
27. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
28. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
29. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
30. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died..
31. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
32.. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
33. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
34. Bad decisions make good stories
35. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
36. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
37. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
38. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
39. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
40. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
41. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
42. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
43. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
44. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’
45. While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.
46. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.
What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
47. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
48. When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
49. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
50. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
51. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
52. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
53. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood..
54. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
55. I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
56. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.
57. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
58. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?
59. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
60. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
61. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
62. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
63. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
Top 5 “Box Office” Movies of the ’90s
August 19th, 2009Hello there, I haven’t made a post in a while so I felt like I should at least post something. I am currently compiling a list for my Top 5 Greatest Arnold Movies, Top 5 Greatest Cheap Beers, Top 5 Greatest Pizzas, and more. So, while I continue to compile those lists with real references other than Wikipedia or IMDb pages, here is a small list of some 90s box office movies.
Just as a note, I used the term “box office” because if I chose the actual top 5 greatest movies of the 90s, they wouldn’t even been in the top 100 of the box office movies.
#5. TIE: Jurassic Park and The Fugitive.
Jurassic Park was a great thrill ride and one of the first best uses of computer animation outside of of a James Cameron film. The Fugitive was one of the best TV series to movie adaptations ever made. The 1993 movie is a non-stop mystery-action movie with a fantastic cast, great writting, and excellent directing. US Marshalls has nothing on The Fugitive.
#4. Braveheart
Braveheart is a Mel Gibson directed and starred bloody action adventure. There are a few quotable lines but the best parts of the movie are the battles.
#3. Saving Private Ryan
Saving Private Ryan is a fantastic World War 2 movie that has one of the most memorable opening sequences in modern cinema. Some parts of the movie are slow for a war movie, but the direction and character development is above-par for any war movie.
#2. Pulp Fiction
Pulp Fiction is one of the greatest non-standard Hollywood movies ever made. Aside from a fantastic ensemble cast, Quentin writes dialoge and situations that fly far above that of his other impressive works.
#1. Office Space
While Office Space is not as big of a box office success as the others listed on this list, it has become one of the most quoted, referenced, and funny-in-repeated-viewings funny movies ever made in the 90s. If you have never seen Office Space then you are missing out on jokes that employees, employers, individuals, bands, movies, and friends make every day.
Again, I appologize for the weakness of this list, but I just had to post something.
